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It is difficult to say quite how many times I’ve come across this question in this short span of time that I’ve been painting more seriously. Wherever I go, the question seems to follow me.

There are some people who are primarily interested in the commercial aspect of art. And when they find out - usually within minutes of discussing art with me - that I have a pitifully few numbers sold so far … they seem more than disdainful … they appear almost hurt! “Why do you paint?” seem to be written all over their twisted faces … It seems I have been criminally wasting expensive art materials just to satisfy a whim …  with no real output to show. On top of that, now that I have opened a website & actually dared to upload a few of my paintings - it is drawing more curious looks than ever.

Another group - presumably more “connected” than the former, would enquire about my social networks & reactions … how many "followers" did I have? How many “likes” did I receive … Is any of my artwork "trending" in Instagram - they would ask with genuine concern & interest. But I must confess I’m quite weak in that department … What is said in a paragraph, I generally try to sum it in a line; & what needs a line to express - I’m usually happy to say that in a word … hence making connections or even worse, finding new “friends” do not come easily to me. Some people find it really hard to digest … here I’m making art & not bothered to “share” or get “likes” … let alone be the latest trending sensation on Instagram? Come on … this guy must be a weirdo! Or is he hiding something?

So then, why do I paint ?

Well … the answer is so frighteningly simple, that I most often feel awkward giving it. The reason why I paint is because I LOVE TO PAINT. It gives me freedom - my burdens, worries, all those unpaid bills, my pending projects, what I haven’t got from life or what I could have become …. all these things slowly fade away as I see the beautiful, vibrant colors flow across the pristine white of paper. Here is a new world to be created … where there will be new stories to be told, new hopes & new horizons … & it’s all mine - every inch of it! No amount of money or “likes” can buy it for me. A few years back, when I saw my beloved old man slowly wither away in cancer, I also understood the true significance of being alive & the importance of doing something that you truly enjoy … & quickly!

I must clarify here that I’m not implying that I don’t want to sell my paintings or I don’t get a thrill when I actually make a sale. Last year a curator selected 3 of my artworks for a prestigious International Art Biennial in Kolkata, India where 70 Artists participated from 14 different countries. It was an humbling experience for me. But boy, was I surprised to receive that call from the organizers to inform me that I’m completely sold out! And the thrill of it! But that’s about it for me. Almost as a footnote to this story, when I mention to them that I’ve donated that entire amount in charity.. their surprise know no bounds.

I understand that since (fortunately) I have a full time job to support me & my family, I do not feel the pinch …but I don’t understand how can one even begin to think that one can start Art to make money … I understand Drivers, Typists, Architects, Bankers, Dentists & others in their chosen vocations did undergo training followed by a career of sustained earning … But I’d like to believe, the root of Art is not money … It could be passion, or an urge to express creativity or to communicate with the outside world … whatever! But not money, or even fame! Money or fame could come though … eventually. And I am (fortunately, again) yet to come across such focused souls whose primary expectation when they started their Art - was money. But like most of you there, I know of countless examples of many impoverished artists who died a pauper while their artworks auctioned for millions later on.

I think it would be relevant to mention a small anecdote here, which to some extent, has shaped the way I look at art. It’s in a book written by the great Nandlal Bose -  one of the pioneers of modern Indian art and a key figure of Contextual Modernism, who also became the Principal of Kalabhavan in Tagore’s International University, Shantiniketan. In his book, he tried to explain the differences between Charushilpa & Karushilpa (loosely translates into Art & Crafts) - while the former is an expression of emotion & gives boundless joy to its exponent - the latter has a tangible output, which is both aesthetic & functional - & yes, such aesthetics & function mostly have a commercial side attached to them. I’d like to believe that I fall in that 1^st category … I may not have a masterpiece, may not have sold a lot or may not have so many “friends” to boot … but what I do, gives me pleasure beyond bounds … I constantly lose & rediscover  myself every moment that I paint.

Is it not enough?