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As she put on her Sennheiser headphones, she also pulled up the puffer collar and slipped on a pair of oversized anti-glare glasses. With her preppy aesthetic in place, she logged in her laptop and quietly sank into a world of her own. Just like yesterday. Or the day before.

She reminds me of my son & a vast majority of zoomers, who apparently do not have the time, need or even the wish to talk. Maybe this is to safeguard their privacy or protect against frauds.

Or there’s not much to talk about these days.

It may also be the right thing to do – only that it seems so different from the time and the world we grew up in. A world where we spoke to solve our problems. There were no smartphones, limited emails or social media – the only interaction was face-to-face and the preferred mode to communicate? – conversation!

Conversation? Hmm … Is it a lost art now?

I hail from a city, where conversation – colloquially known asadda – is almost a quintessential part of the culture.  People refer to it reverentially and the one not initiated to the art, is often considered an outcast!

An ancient banyan tree at the university campus, the farthest corner of the college canteen, a deserted railway platform or the Coffee house – all place dry and sundry could suddenly become lively with cups of tea passing hands and a few friends fervently having an adda on anything from the metropolis to the moon.

An adda - Satyajit Ray’s sketch of the original short story on which Aguntuk was filmed

Politics, sports, cinema, rock bands, art, music – everything was fodder for such conversation. And new ones popped up every other day!

In a film called Aguntuk by the maestro Satyajit Ray, the central character described this art of adda by drawing comparisons with ancient Greek practices, where such forms of social gathering and exchange of views was considered necessary for "mens sana in corpore sano" – a sound body in a sound mind!

Indeed!

Some of my college conversations continue even today – after almost 40 years! The context or the characters may have shifted, but the passion, shared interest and fun are all there. Whenever we meet, words seem to pour out of our mouth!

But nowadays, it’s sometimes a real challenge to extract even a single sentence from my son!

In a recent visit to my hometown, I had to meet a few friends from my college & the conversations I had with them were not only fun, but like so many others- also turned out to be quite insightful!

A quiet neighborhood cafe is the best place to start a conversation 

In the 1^st case – a meet with a buddy at a quiet, neighborhood café – I realized after we exchanged our views on the current hiring practices, that contrary to my earlier belief, some domain knowledge will always be helpful in general management roles. This is because, as seniors, we can then engage in more meaningful conversations with the team. And for growth within a domain, it is necessary to be able to converse, as in some cases, that’s still the only way to put your thoughts across!

A brilliant conversation indeed.

The other friend – another college favorite – wanted me to visit his new home and see my framed paintings he has put up. I found out from him, at an age, when most of us are planning retirement, he has joined a start-up! This – as he revealed during our conversation – is because job satisfaction is an integral part of our professional life and it is very closely related to growth. He explained – over some freshly brewed black coffee or “infusion” as we used to call it – growth is essential at every phase of one’s career but at a stage of maturity, one effectively stops to grow. The job satisfaction, which is directly proportional to growth, becomes marginal. Hence, he decided to reverse the cycle and start it all over again!

With some framed paintings - paintings can sometimes be conversation-starters

As artists don’t we get frustrated sometimes as we cannot find any satisfaction in what we are doing? A few years back, almost everyday something new happened to us and we used to get a tremendous kick out of it. Have we then stopped progressing or suddenly lost all the talent and passion?

Well - the answer lies above! It is because at a matured stage of our career, growth often comes sluggishly or not at all! This is because, improvements are still there, but it has become marginal. So, unless we create a new space for growth – like my friend did with a start-up - we may get stuck in a rut. And find all our satisfaction has been stripped away.

That’s why trying out new things every now and then is necessary for any artist aspiring to grow. And without that conversation it would never have occurred to me!

And like that, conversations can often lead to new bridges being built, new connections being formed and new directions being found.

Science has proven that during a conversation, explaining a problem out loud can help organize our thoughts and often lead to identifying a solution on our own (like the “Rubber Duck” effect). While objective perspectives from friends can reduce our blind spots, a chance of collaborative brainstorming can help break down the challenges we face into small actionable steps. A friendly banter can thus turn out to be a safe and useful validation of our thoughts.

My favorite “me-time”

Thus, our ‘me-time’ with headphones and EarPods, iPads and social media are essential, but that should not take away all the time needed to have a conversation every once in a while!

So go out and talk to the world!

For the universe is listening!